By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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