Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
