Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
