you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
