there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
