it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
