my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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