i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
