I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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