Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
