I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
