we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
