Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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