We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
