you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
