I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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