did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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