Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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