He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
