just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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