I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
