Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
