dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
