I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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