hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
