Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
