Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
