Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
