She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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