You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
