Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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