Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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