I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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