names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
