I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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