I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
