yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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