spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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