i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
