Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
