Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
