If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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