This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
