you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
