I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think my vagina is haunted
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
