Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
