so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
