Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
