And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
