Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
