I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
